As the clock ticks …….
I wait…..
For my child …..
To come …….
Home……
Knowing…..
And not knowing…..
How….
He will return ……
To me….
Home…
Safe.
Category: parenting
Plan to Create Success
““But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?”
Luke 14:28 NLT
Creative people tend to be more impulsive than most people. That’s our charm, grace, and character. Our biggest challenge in the life journey is harnessing that impulsive energy into discipline. I face this everyday. Of course it doesn’t help me to have a successful day if I don’t plan the day beforehand.
I find myself in the middle of a rip current that will keep pulling me away from my goals if I don’t structure my time. I’m thankful for this scripture that gives me direction. It’s true. I have started many projects without any plan of how much time I have to complete them.
I think for anyone who finds them self at the center of “the hearth” face the frustration that interruption brings. I have a choice; get upset and angry at all who infringe upon my time or plan my time ahead and restrategize when derailing occurs.
I am in control of how I react to frustration and interruptions that are unforeseen. My response and reaction influence my ability to make tomorrow better than today.
Almost Grown
He will never know the pride and joy I feel when I watch him blow out the makeshift match-candles until it’s his turn. When he has his children, then he will know. But not yet.
I remember the birthday parties when he was little. I had to lead the group in the activities. Not anymore.
I listened as their conversation turned from Pokémon to voting. Through their words I was able to hold onto the boy and the man. Happy birthday Justin! May your boyhood sweetness make you a strong, sensitive man.
New Ideas
I’m glad when I meet different people. They come with different ways of knowing. Every nurse who has come to my family has been a blessing in learning.
I was struggling with the care of my son. He’s older. I’m older. A new nurse to us came with a day way of doing things for my son.
Imagine having some time to breathe and not worry about his bedtime routine. I always thought I have to bathe him and get him ready to sleep. As a person with Epilepsy, he needs more sleep and a routine that is pretty consistent.
Our new nurse suggested we let her get him to sleep. She gets him up in the morning and puts him in the bed before leaving. This was news for me. I thought, this makes sense.
We tried it. She put him in bed before her shift finished. He was asleep when she finished. I felt like I was given a gift. I was able to focus on dinner for my other children. I felt at peace focused on one thing. You know when someone gives you something you didn’t realize was what you were hoping for way down in the depths of your heart. Your body needed. Your heart and psyche needed. Peace and relaxation in my mind.
Blessing.
New Territory
As my youngest son fights to be like the others, this warrior leads the way to a traditional Sunday service. He pushes forward, literally; never ceasing to inspire and push each individual to expand their boundaries.
He has multiple diagnoses, which he wars against daily; Post Traumatic Epilepsy with Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome and Trisomy 21. The young man is a true warrior! The amazing soldiers at his side demonstrating what being a man requires; empathy and assistance as a servant of God. Amen!
Easter Morning
My eldest son called before sunrise and said, “I’m arriving at 8:50 according to google maps.”
I flew to be ready and wait for the bus to arrive. His robotics competition was finished. They brought an award home for gracious professionalism. A grand achievement.
As I drove to the designated place for pickup, the sun was rising and fighting with the clouds for the front of the sky. Cracks in the clouds gave the sun teasing possibilities to be shine and be seen. As I sat in the car, the clouds, with the help of the wind overpowered the sun, and the sky stayed grey on this day of celebration.
I try and imagine what that day was like when He wasn’t where his closest friends thought He would be. At first, saddened to face their dead friend and teacher. Then, confusion for not finding Him. Many drawings about that day show the sun shining through clouds and lots of bright light.
What if it wasn’t bright sunshine? What if it were a day like I am encountering today? A struggle between the sun and the clouds, pushing and pulling, gaining and losing.
This helps me to understand on a cellular level the amazing miracle finished and renewed by God. The constant struggle we face on a daily basis to make the best decisions, and acknowledge our gratitude for making salvation possible for anyone who wants it.
My son has yet to arrive. The wait will be worth it because, just like Jesus’ friends, the joy of the encounter will be immeasurable.
Homeschool so far
We’ve been doing this for two years now and I see the benefits outweigh the problems.
My three sons are on different journeys. All three have different modalities to learning. While this can be perceived as an acrobatic feat, it meets my individuals where they are in their learning.
The youngest has been in homeschool for several years, but has impairment. Teaching him has been so rewarding because he’s had more learning to do. His education has focused on rehabilitation from his tragic accident ten years ago. We thought he would never walk. He does that now.
My middle son has other challenges. He struggles with himself. He is gifted but lacks confidence. Giving him the opportunity to learn at his own pace has improved his confidence.
My eldest has the combination of both worlds. He is incredibly talented with certain modalities of learning that are not accessible in the regular school curriculum. He had to be homeschooled so that his curriculum would reflect his desired learning. Left with the track system in his past school would have caused a severe rejection of learning.
It’s unfortunate that the public and private school sectors don’t have the flexibility of homeschooling. I’m grateful for my teaching degree because I have the knowledge of curriculum design with the parental knowledge of my students to help them succeed in their learning.
Progress with Patience and Persistence
My work is never finished. I rise before the dawn often coming from a two hour nap just hours before. He’s been striving to achieve, and I’m thankful. I never know when the miracle comes, and it’s better that way. I persist because of this. I believe he does his best to maintain reciprocity.
It’s these moments I feel it necessary to be his cheerleader.
He manifests progress in mysterious ways. He learns to creep his achievements. Using his strong right hand to hold onto the counter top, he shifts his weight to host his body, while moving towards the sink. Then, as if he changed his mind, he turns his body around, holding with one hand then switching to his weakest hand to hold on the counter. All the while he has nothing to balance himself except for his legs.
I froze as I watched him work this out for the first time.
“Take your time”, I encouraged.
Step by slow, deliberate step. He did it! When he reached me, I pulled him into a big hug. He looked up at me, smiling with great pride.
Each day is new! Hallelujah.
Eating Better
I’m all about trying to find ways to be healthy. Food seems to be an easier way sometimes since getting outside can be harder. Plus it proves to be a win-win for all involved. I get to be creative, the men in my home get tasty food and everyone dies good for their bodies. Especially since one of my guys has hypotonia. This strongly forgotten and ever present phenomena is culprit to a lot of chronic constipation and medical fragility.
Hypotonia means lack of muscle tone in the body. It means a need for exercise and/or dietary restrictions. The right amount of fiber from vegetables helps the body.
Update:
Coincidentally or not, my son has developed regularity since September 27, 2021. After tracking on a daily basis, I noticed that his hypotonia is less of a variable when the Vegas Nerve Stimulator has a new battery. Everything flows.
We haven’t had to track fiber every day. As long as he eats some fiber combined with the daily water intake each day, he achieves what most elderly don’t.
The bigger test or confirmation of what occurs will happen when we see the battery losing battery life. Will we be using more meds to counter the chronic constipation?
Only steady observation and tracking will help me to find the answers.
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